We’re well over the halfway mark in American Horror Story: Apocalypse, meaning it’s time to amp up the intensity and put the pieces in place for the final act. Episode seven, “Traitor,” did just that: by the end of the night, the war between Cordelia’s (Sarah Paulson) Coven and Michael Langdon (Cody Fern, who did not appear in the episode) had officially begun with a sickening display of violence and burnt flesh, and a surprising new Supreme was crowned.
Below, the 7 most apocalyptic moments of the night:
1. Dinah Put a Heart in a Blender
Dinah (Adina Porter) got her moment in the sun in the opening scenes of “Traitor,” where at least some of her voodoo powers were finally unveiled. A year-ish before the apocalypse, Dinah was using her particular talents to rake in cash from angry Beverly Hills women with cheating husbands. We watched her use a voodoo doll to rip out a woman’s heart, which she later blended into a heart-and-toenails smoothie to force-feed to a dude to make his penis go limp around women who were not his wife. All in all, not a bad skill to have.
2. Papa Legba Came Back From the [Land of the] Dead
It didn’t take long for the focus to shift from Dinah back to Cordelia, who visited Dinah — now the Queen of Voodoo after Marie Laveau’s death — to ask for a favor. She needed Dinah to broker a meeting with Papa Legba (Lance Reddick), the gatekeeper of the spirit world, to get one over on Michael. Lady boss Dinah agreed to summon Legba for $100,000, which ended up being money badly spent. Cordelia asked Legba to open the gates of Hell so she could draw Michael in and condemn him to an eternity of pain — which, at this point, sounds generous — but Legba would only do it if Cordelia gave up the souls of her entire Coven to be his Hell-slaves. Legba had been enjoying the talents of Nan (Jamie Brewer) ever since Laveau and Fiona Goode drowned her in a bathtub as a sacrifice, and thought roughly a dozen witches would be better than one. Cordelia refused, sending her back to square one.
3. Joan Collins Returned as a Totally New Character
While Cordelia took another L, Madison (Emma Roberts) and Myrtle (Frances Conroy) enlisted the help of a former Coven member living in LA; an actress called Bubbles McGee (Collins). McGee’s first love was starring in films like “A Christmas to Dismember” (which we wouldn’t not watch), but she could also read minds and sense lies, so Myrtle brought her back to Hawthorne School to dine with the head warlocks and dig up their dirt. Bubbles heard Ariel Augustus (Jon Jon Briones) and Baldwin Pennypacker (BD Wong) thinking they couldn’t wait for all of “those bitches” to die — and Ariel wondering why no one was asking about the missing John Henry (Cheyenne Jackson) — which ended up sending the Coven to war. But more on that one in a second.
4. Mallory Was Crowned Supreme
Back at Miss Robichaux’s, Mallory (Billie Lourd) shocked Zoe (Taissa Farmiga) and the rest of her Coven when she saved Coco (Leslie Grossman) from choking to death on a Snoball. She magically opened up Coco’s throat (!!!) and ripped out the offending food specimen, then closed the ghastly wound without Coco feeling a thing. This convinced Zoe that Cordelia wasn’t weakening because of Michael, but because Mallory was destined to be crowned Supreme. We skipped past six of Mallory’s seven Wonders because there’s only so much time, but her seventh test was to bring back John Henry using only the pile of ashes left by Miriam (Kathy Bates) at that gas station, and Mallory passed with flying colors.
5. Cordelia Finally Explained Myrtle’s Resurrection
It’s also important to note that Behold Chablis (Billy Porter) moved in to Miss Robichaux’s to join the fight against Michael, and that he got very, very frustrated when the ladies threw a dinner party to celebrate Mallory’s ascension. Because when Behold mouthed off to Cordelia that they should be focusing on the coming apocalypse instead of drinking wine (a fair point), Cordelia assured him she’d been preparing for the End of Days for longer than anyone else thought. Turns out, Cordelia had only brought Myrtle back after the events of Coven — against the woman’s own wishes — because she sensed that great danger was coming, and needed her mother figure around to help her protect her girls.
6. Coco Unleashed a Truly Horrifying Power
Right before Mallory showed off her skills and rose Supreme, Coco showed Madison, Queenie, and Zoe her brand new power: she could sense the calorie count in food; any food. This would make her a terrible friend to have dinner with (does anyone truly want to know the calorie count in the Bolognese?), but it was enough to convince Cordelia that Coco had more to offer than gluten allergies. She asked Coco to use her sensory abilities to sniff out a traitor who was working with Michael, which led the girls to Miriam … and very likely, ushered in the End of Days.
7. Unlike Billy Joel, the Coven Totally Started the Fire
Okay, it was technically Michael who ushered in the End of Days, but it was Cordelia who fired the first shot in the doomed war against him. Cordelia had Coco and some unnamed muscle kidnap Miriam, then she personally gathered Ariel and Baldwin before they could unleash a lethal poison that only killed women on the Coven. Because of course they’d do that. The entire Coven, clad in funeral finery and carrying those signature lace umbrellas, dragged the three victims out to the desert and placed them on stakes. John Henry lit the match, and Miriam died laughing and smiling as she prayed to her almighty father. Given the eternal love for Miriam and only Miriam that Michael expressed earlier in the season — remember, he had his robot slave built in her exact likeness — we can’t wait to see how the Dark Lord takes her death and, inevitably, retaliates against the Coven. We’re firmly on their side, but more than ready to witness the horrors that await.