In American Horror Story: Apocalypse fans got to see Evan Peters debut two new characters, Jeff Pfister and Mr. Gallant, as well as reprise his Murder House character Tate Langdon and Hotel’s Mr. March. Mr. Gallant wasn't exactly spiking the levels on the evil meter, but the same can't be said for the other new kid on the AHS block. Jeff, a loathsome man with the world’s worst haircut, was Peters’ 16th AHS character in his eight years on the show — and arguably, one of the most morally bankrupt ones. Spoiled, sexist, drug-riddled, despicably bro-y, Jeff is an evil man — but is he worse than the ones who came before him?
Below, our bulletproof ranking of Peters’ characters in descending order of evil:
16. Jesus, Cult
It’s literally Jesus.
15. Kit Walker, Asylum
Kit Walker was a cinnamon roll, the likes of which American Horror Story had never seen before and arguably hasn’t since. All the poor dude wanted to do was clear his name, treat his woman well, raise his half-alien babies and live in peace. He always stood up for what was right even when it meant corporal punishment, and he took care of the series’ anti-hero, Sister Jude (Jessica Lange), when she truly needed his help. We need more men like Kit.
14. Jimmy Darling, Freak Show
Jimmy was a tortured soul, doomed from the get-go by his lobster hands, his terrible parents, and the unfortunate luck of being born “different” in Florida in the 1950s. He made some mistakes and definitely murdered a few people, but virtually all of them had it coming. Overall, Jimmy was a pretty decent dude. With some, ahem, special talents.
13. Rory Monahan, Roanoke
Rory Monahan was a narcissist who valued fame over all else, including his marriage. He didn’t deserve to suffer his horrible fate and certainly wasn’t evil, but Rory still had issues that kept him from being an all-around good person.
12. Andy Warhol, Cult
Peters’ Warhol was a jerk, certainly. But not exactly evil.
11. Mr. Gallant, Apocalypse
Evil? Nah. Self-centered, and guilty of murdering his own (horrible) grandmother, Evie (Joan Collins)? Sure, but we’ll give that one a pass since he was literally tricked into doing so by the Son of Satan. Overall, Mr. Gallant wasn’t that bad and probably would be fun at brunch.
10. Kyle Spencer, Coven
In his first life, Kyle seemed like a pretty swell guy. But in his Franken-life, Kyle used his new, freakish strength to do a lot of murdering. He even kills the one and only Madison Montgomery (Emma Roberts). Yes he did it out of love for Zoe (Taissa Farmiga), and yes, his brain was severely damaged from his tragic death, but you don’t get to kill the Queen of Quips and earn a top spot on this list.
9. Edward Philippe Mott, Roanoke
While we wish we could simply applaud Edward for being brave enough to show affection with his boyfriend in front of other people in the 1700s, we can't. The guy owned slaves and locked them in a root cellar for a crime they didn't commit. Just plain evil.
8-6. Marshall Applewhite, David Koresh, Jim Jones, Cult
Who are we to say which of these three monstrous, real-life cult leaders was the most evil? All of them were directly responsible for the deaths of at least dozens of people, which is why the despicable Kai Anderson thought so highly of them.
5. Charles Manson, Cult
Not only did Charles Manson convince his followers to do infamously unspeakable things in real life, on Cult he convinced Kai in a vision to murder his own sister, Winter (Billie Lourd).
4. Jeff Pfister, Apocalypse
Even without the whole “selling his soul and ushering in the End of Days” thing, Jeff would rank highly on this list because dude is the straight-up worst. We all know a Jeff, and we all hate that Jeff. Don’t be a Jeff.
3. Tate Langdon, Murder House and Apocalypse
Murder House Tate was terrible. He murdered his fellow students in a school shooting and raped Vivien Harmon (Connie Britton), impregnating her with a literal demon baby. His not-so-saving grace was caring for Violet but it’s impossible to forgive all the atrocious acts he committed. Tate deserved all of the bad fortune that later befell him, even if he was under the influence of his devil-son. The Tate we met in Apocalypse was a kinder, gentler, way less murder-y version of the Tate from Murder House. As Vivien said, the evil went out of Tate as soon as his sort-of-son, Michael (Cody Fern), was born. From then on, all Tate really wanted to do was hang out with his mom and tenderly caress his girlfriend in front of bay windows.
2. Kai Anderson, Cult
Just like Tate, Kai Anderson hit very close to home when it came to his abominable crimes. Kai used racism, misogyny, and homophobia to rile up his followers and gain more power for himself, ruining the lives of pretty much every innocent person unfortunate enough to cross his path. His terrible parental history did not excuse the man he later became, and we hope he’s rotting away in the afterlife with at least 10 other characters on this list.
1. James Patrick March, Hotel
Not only was James March a serial killer himself, he also personally inspired some of the most infamous killers in history — John Wayne Gacy, Manson, Jeffrey Dahmer, the Zodiac Killer — to commit their heinous crimes. And March’s kills were incomprehensibly violent and cruel to his victims. Remember when he buried that woman alive in a brick wall?! Remember the blood-soaked necrophilia?! March was a true boogeyman, and Peters at his wicked best.