Every fan of It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia knows that Dee Reynolds is an absolute gift. There’s no question about that. Her physical comedy is unmatched (need I remind you of her signature dance moves or what happens when she attempts to do standup?) and she can scream "you sons of bitches" like no other. Fans know and appreciate her, especially when she’s screaming something at the top of her lungs or punching a hole in her own wall out of rage, but when it comes to her more unique quotes, Dee sometimes doesn’t get the credit she deserves.
We all love to go off on a Charlie-ism ("Why don't I strap on my job helmet and squeeze down into a job cannon and fire off into job land, where jobs grow on jobbies?" is always a good one) or sing a choice lyric from The Nightman Cometh, but Dee can be a vicious, brutal artist with an insult. So, in no particular order, here are some of the most underrated (and completely hilarious) Dee Reynolds quotes that must be celebrated every single day:
1. That Time She Was Feeling Super Generous
"We’re trying to give you the Christmas spirit, dickhole!"
2. When She Painted A Picture With Her Words
"Mac, let me stop you right there. First of all, your breath smells like an old lady fart passing through an onion."
3. When She Simultaneously Roasted Herself And Anyone Who’s Ever Played The Sims
"It’s like when I’m doing good in the game I’m doing good in life."
4. That Time She Gave All Of Us The Best Line For Cancelling Plans At The Last Minute
"Yeah, I’m kind of in the middle of something with my cat right now."
5. When She Got Downright Medieval On Someone
"I’ll burn you alive like the last bitch who crossed me."
6. That Time She Invented What Might Be The Most Graphic Insult Ever
"I’m living the high life, so suck on that, white stains."
7. There’s This Instant Classic
"I will eat your babies, bitch."
8. And That Time She Threatened Someone With The Scariest Punishment Imaginable
"We’re gonna get all in your face and point out your faults."
9. When She Predicted The Problem With The 2016 Election Years Before It Happened
"Ladies and gentlemen, we’re about to speak the truth but we’re not gonna spout a bunch of words that are facts like some big jerk from New York who thinks he’s great."
10. That Time She Legitimately Destroyed Another Human Being To Get Into A Nightclub
"I don’t need to be on that list, you idiot, you piece of dirt. Who are you? I step on you. I clean you off of my shoes at night. I step on you and then I throw away the shoe, and that shoe that I just threw away, that’s worth more than your worthless life, mister. And I’m pissed because I loved that shoe. You dirt, you piece of subhuman shit."
11. And Then There Was The Moment She Won At Therapy By Saying This To Her Therapist
"Tell me I’m good tell me I’m good tell me I’m good tell me I’m good tell me I’m good tell me I’m good tell me I’m good tell me I’m good tell me I’m good tell me I’m good tell me I’m good"
12. There’s Also This Gem, Which We’re Pretty Sure Is Just An Actual Curse
"I hope you suck each other’s rotten peckers until you get mouth cancer."
13. When She Invented Yet Another Perfectly Insulting Name
"Attention, passengers. This is your captain, Boss Hogg, speaking. And this cold slice of heaven is my 40th beer of the afternoon. So any of you dicknips think you can slug it down faster than me, you're welcome to get your fat asses up here to try."
14. That Time When She Really Wasn’t Being That Unreasonable
"I’m not asking you to do much. Just turn a blind eye while I rob this place stupid."
15. And When She Was Trying To Be Inspirational But Wound Up Being The Saddest Human Ever
"That’s because nobody ever wins those tickets, right? But as long as you don’t scratch it, then you’re not a loser. You know, in fact you’re a winner. Potentially."
16. The Moment When She Really Understood How Babies Work
"Out of my way, I’ve broken my water. There’s a baby inside of me running out of water."
17. And Lastly, A Goddamn Dee Reynolds Signature